Judeo-Christian Worldview: Mentoring to Manhood vs. War on Masculinity

Judeo-Christian Worldview:

Mentoring to Manhood vs. War on Masculinity

The Great Need: Turning Boys into Men

Brian Fischer

The gravest challenge our culture faces today is the crisis of masculinity. The American Psychological Association has labeled traditional masculinity – strength, aggression, stoicism – as something “toxic.” The APA is saying that our problem in America is with traditional American masculinity. But it’s what the APA calls “toxic masculinity” that enabled us in 1776 to defeat the British Empire and stake our claim to be one of the sovereign nations of the world.

It was “toxic masculinity” that enabled us to do the hard work of carving a nation out of the wilderness and defeating dozens of hostile nations along the way. It was “toxic masculinity” that enabled the Fighting Leathernecks to defeat the Muslim armies of Tripoli in 1804 in our first battle with Islamic jihad. (They got the nickname “Leathernecks” because they wore thick strips of leather around their necks for the simple reason they knew the Muslims would try to cut off their heads.) 

It was “toxic masculinity” that enabled us to fight a bloody civil war – at the cost of 600,000 American lives – to bring the diabolical institution of slavery to an end in America. It was “toxic masculinity” that enabled us to lead the effort to defeat the Nazi menace and free the word from its scourge in the 1940s.

The problem is not that there is too much masculinity in America, it’s that there’s not enough. An absence of biblical masculinity, which is simply men using their strength to lead, protect, and provide, has left too many homes fragmented and broken, leaving spouses abandoned and children to fend for themselves.

According to the United Nations Population Fund, 40 percent of all births in the U.S. now happen outside of marriage. But if you go back to 1970, that figure was sitting at just 10 percent.

At this point in our history, approximately one out of every three children in the United States lives in a home without a father. The damage to our sons and daughters caused by fatherlessness is catastrophic. How are the boys of today supposed to learn how to be the men of tomorrow, the husbands of tomorrow, and the fathers of tomorrow?

A recent study revealed that the main problem with boys and violence is not poverty. It is the absence of a father in the home. Says Prof. Richard Vatz of Towson State University, “Fatherlessness is a core cause of virtually all societal ills.”

Sarah Hall, a British writer, makes this profound observation. What matters is “not whether or not the father lived in the family home” but whether the “biological father maintained a close relationship with his son” (emphasis mine).

In this study, 55% of the “good boys” lived with their biological fathers, compared with only 4% of the ‘bad boys.'” Almost 80% of the “good boys” spoke of being close to their biological fathers.

Boys who had a father who showed an interest in his son “gained a sense of being loved and approved of, and the fear of jeopardizing this proved enough to deter them from crime” said Dr. Jenny Taylor of the British Psychological Society in Birmingham, England.

The U.S. Census Bureau concluded that children from fatherless homes are more likely to be poor, become involved in drug and alcohol abuse, drop out of school, and suffer from health and emotional problems. 

The problem is massive and overwhelming. What can we do? I believe the solution is for the fathers of today to invest themselves in their young sons, and give them an example to follow in life, work, and family.

 We need dads who will mentor their young sons so they will grow up to become the mature, masculine men America needs to lead the next generation.

The dads of today need to equip their sons to be the leaders, protectors, and providers for the families of tomorrow.

Who else is in a position to get this done? The churches of today often seem more interested in entertaining young boys than in training them. Government schools long ago abandoned even the pretense of character education, and the entertainment media is hopelessly corrupt.

Maybe you are a dad reading these words, and finding yourself stirred to be the kind of mentor your young son needs. If I may be so bold, I have written a book, “The Boy To Man Book,” which is designed for a father to read with his 12-year-old son. The chapters are brief, stocked with anecdotes, and filled with insight from Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. And each chapter concludes with a prayer you can pray over the life of your son.

Every day 5000 young boys in America turn twelve. Make sure that your son is one of the lucky ones who had a father committed to raise him in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

As columnist and family expert Mike McManus says, “Children need their fathers. There is no substitute.”

(You can find out more, and order a copy of the book for yourself or for others, at https://afastore.net/the-boy-to-man-book-by-bryan-fischer)

Christian Mentoring Resources:

How to Mentor Young Adults, Imparting Biblical Family Values, Made Easy!

Dear APA: America Desperately Needs Masculine Men

 

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Biblical Parenting: Why Fathers Mentoring Young Adults, Imparting Biblical Values, is Vital to their Future

Biblical Parenting:

Why Fathers Mentoring Young Adults, Imparting Biblical Values, is Vital to their Future

 

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

gospel-father-mentorHave you ever opened a box of parts, pulled out the assembly instructions, and thought, “This doesn’t make any sense at all”?

Sometimes, despite our best intentions and inner confidence, we pull out a part and ask, “What is that for?” or “How does that fit?”

Our frustration grows as we look at the box and notice a disclaimer that says, “Assembly required—ages 8 and up.” Because we still don’t have a clue, this does not boost our confidence or our self-esteem.

Sometimes we have a similar experience with the gospel. As we look at some part of it, we may scratch our heads and wonder what that part is for. Or as we examine another part, we may realize that even after trying hard to fully understand, we just can’t figure out why that part was included.

Our Heavenly Father Is Our Mentor

Fortunately, our Heavenly Father has given us wonderful instructions for structuring our lives and putting together our best selves. Those instructions work regardless of our age or circumstance. He has given us the gospel and the Church of Jesus Christ. He has given us the plan of redemption, the plan of salvation, even the plan of happiness. He has not left us alone with all the uncertainties or challenges of life, saying, “Here you go. Good luck. Figure it out.”

holyspiritgiftIf we will only be patient and look with a humble heart and an open mind, we will find that God has given us many tools to better understand His comprehensive instructions for our happiness in life:

  • He has given us the priceless gift of the Holy Ghost, which has the potential to be our personal, heavenly tutor as we study the word of God and attempt to bring our thoughts and actions into alignment with His word.
  • He has given us 24/7 access to Him through prayers of faith and supplications of real intent.
  • He has given us modern-day apostles and prophets, who reveal the word of God in our day and have the authority to bind or seal on earth and in heaven.
  • He has restored His Church—an organization of believers who work together to help one another as they work out their salvation with fear, trembling, and unparalleled joy.1
  • He has given us the holy scriptures—His written word to us.
  • He has given myriad tools of modern technology to help us in our walk of discipleship. Many of these marvelous instruments can be found at LDS.org.

Why has our Heavenly Father given us so much help? Because He loves us. And because, as He said of Himself, “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”2

In other words, Heavenly Father is our God, and God is a mentor to us.

Our Father in Heaven knows His children’s needs better than anyone else. It is His work and glory to help us at every turn, giving us marvelous temporal and spiritual resources to help us on our path to return to Him.

Every Father Is a Mentor

father-teaching-son-mirrorIn some parts of the world, fathers are honored by families and society in the month of June. It is always good to honor and respect our parents. Fathers do many good things for their families and have many admirable attributes. Two of the most important roles fathers have in the lives of their children are those of being a good example and a mentor. Fathers do more than tell their children what is right or wrong; they do much more than toss a manual at them and expect them to figure out life for themselves.

Fathers mentor their precious children and show by their good example the way an honest life is lived. Fathers do not leave their children alone but rush to their aid, helping them to their feet whenever they stumble. And sometimes when wisdom suggests, fathers allow their children to struggle, realizing that this may be the best way for them to learn.

We Are All Mentors

fathermentoringWhile earthly fathers do this for their own children, the spirit of mentoring is something we need to offer all of God’s children, regardless of age, location, or circumstance. Remember, God’s children are our brothers and sisters; we are all of the same eternal family.

In this sense, let us all be mentors—eager to reach out and help one another to become our best selves. Because we are God’s offspring, we do have the potential to become like Him. Loving God and our fellowmen, keeping God’s commandments, and following Christ’s example are the straight, narrow, and joyful path back into the presence of our heavenly parents.

If the God of the universe cares so much about us that He is a mentor to us, perhaps we too can reach out to our fellowmen, regardless of their color, race, socioeconomic circumstances, language, or religion. Let us become inspired mentors and bless the lives of others—not only our own children but also all of God’s children throughout the world.

How you can help with Mentoring Young Adults, Imparting Biblical Family Values